Falling Light
by Toinfinityandbeyond277
Summary: Madoka Kaname may not exist, but she is still there. Homura knows that it's true. Homura after Madoka's wish.
1. Constellations

There are a countless number of stars in the sky. An infinite number. They are endless. They shine brightest in the darkest nights. Even when you can't see them, they are still there. Even if you can't see their light, they are still there. They will always be there, even if you don't know it.

Just like Madoka Kaname.

Madoka was the stars in the night. Shining even in the darkness. Bright and shining and guiding Homura's path. She's still there. She's still by her side. That's what Madoka said. That's what Homura wants to believe.

The sky is dark and the stars are bright. It's a quiet night, a peaceful one. It's the world she wanted to save. She wants to believe that Madoka is beside her, right now. Looking up at the stars with her. She wants to believe that Madoka isn't really gone. But she is, isn't she?

She says she is still by her side. Homura wants to believe her, but it's hard. No one remembers. No one else. How can you be sure that someone is real if no one else remembers them?

Homura takes the ribbon out of her hair. The only confirmation that Madoka was real. That is the only proof of her existence. That's all she has to guide her. That and her memories. That and the stars. That and her heart. Those are the only reasons she has to believe that Madoka existed.

Homura wants to believe that Madoka is still by her side, but, if she's not, she wants to believe that she's among the stars. Madoka is the stars in the night. Only visible in the darkness. Bright, shining, light. Still there, even if you can't see her. Still there, even if you don't know it. All she has to guide her now is her memories, the stars, the hope that Madoka really is happy. She wants to believe it. She believes it.

She spots a familiar figure in the sky. In the stars there is an outline of a girl with a bow. Perhaps it is just her imagination. Perhaps Madoka really is among the stars.

One day Homura will join Madoka among the stars.

One day she will be by her side.

Homura wants to believe that it's true.

She's certain it is.

It's written in the stars.


	2. Dream

There is a world filled with silver and pink and light. There is a world where hazy figure reunite, with smiles.

It is that world that Homura Akemi sees her. The only time she can see her is in a world that does not exist. She knows it's not real. She doesn't care.

There is a girl standing in front of her. She's surrounded by light, with pink hair and a kind smile. She's so familiar. She's so foreign. Homura knows her, but she doesn't. She only exists in her memories. She does not exist, but Homura remembers her. She does not exist, but Homura knows her name.

Madoka.

She runs forwards and she reaches out to her, but she's gone. Homura cries, again. This is her fate. To never be able to reach Madoka. To never be able to save her. Not even in her dreams. Every time she sees Madoka she is out of reach. That is her fate. That is their fate. To never be able to be happy.

That's Homura's fate, at least. As much as she tries to be happy, as much as she tries to accept it, she can't. She wants to accept Madoka's wish, but it grows harder every day. There is nothing left to guide her. She's failed to protect her. How can she accept that? She wants to, so bad. She tries to. But she can't. No matter how hard she tries. She can't accept that Madoka is gone. That she wanted this.

So she seeks happiness in a dream.

Even there, Madoka never stays.

In this world, at least she is there. She is not real, but she is there. But it's not the same. It's not the same as her being real. As her existing. As knowing that she is real. Knowing that she is not a dream.

Madoka Kaname is not a dream.

Of this she is certain.

Yet she is not. How can she be sure? There are many things that go unexplained… many pieces that connect… the only thing that could explain these things are Madoka Kaname. Then again, maybe Homura just made her up. A figment of her imagination. She's far too incredible to ever have existed in reality. No. She can only exist in a dream. Madoka only exists in dreams, memories, and stars.

But why?

Why is she gone?

Why did she leave?

Is this really what's best?

Is this really what she wanted?

Is this really what _she_ wanted?

Is this really what she fought for?

This is not what Homura Akemi fought for. She fought to have Madoka by her side. To keep Madoka from becoming a magical girl. She failed her. Homura failed the one who meant the most to her. Is this what Madoka wanted? Is it? She says it is. In her memories, in the stars, in the dreams. She is hope. She is the stars. She is a dream. A fading dream. Fading out of existence.

Madoka Kaname dreamed of a brighter future.

Homura Akemi once dreamed a similar dream. She still dreams. She still dreams of the day that Madoka will not be out of reach. She dreams of when they will reunite.

Until that day, she will try to accept Madoka's wish. She will keep trying. After all, she cares about Madoka's happiness more than anything else. If this is what Madoka wants… if this is Madoka's happiness, then so be it.

She will never stop trying to accept it. Her dream was Madoka's happiness. Now that has been fulfilled. It is time to move onto another dream. She can't.

Her dreams are the only place she can see Madoka Kaname. The girl surrounded by light. The girl who is light, who is hope. She is always out of reach. She tells her it's okay.

She says that one day they will meet again. Until that day keep fighting. You are not alone.

She wants to believe it. She will. She will believe it. She will try to believe it, to fight for Madoka.

Even if it's not real. Even if Madoka is a dream.

Homura longs for the day when the dream is different. The dream where hazy figures reunite. The dream where a crying girl throws her arms around a girl surrounded by light. The dream where the girl surrounded by light does not disappear. The dream where she is there. The dream where they both become light. Where they are the fading dream.

The dream where they fade into a world of silver and pink and light.

Only it won't be a dream.

* * *

 **Authors note: I've decided I am going to continue this for at least one more chapter. Should be uploaded in a few days.**


	3. Time

There is nothing more annoying than the neverending tick of a clock.

Annoying in the sense that it is such a small, normal thing that brings so much pain.

Homura can't recall when it started. She just knew that now it was a painful reminder of all her failure. Time and again she would turn back the clock. Time and again she would relive the same month. Time after time. Again and again. Tick, tock, tick, tock. She promised she wouldn't let Madoka become a magical girl. Tick tock. But she made a wish. Tick tock. Now the broken clock has been repaired, and there's no way to go back. Now it only moves forward, the way it was meant to.

Her endless loop is over. Her purpose in life is gone.

She tried. She tried so hard. She tried to accept Madoka's wish.

Time and again.

Tick, tock.

But she can't. Did Madoka ever exist? Did she? Did she?

She has so much evidence… yet so little. Maybe she made it all up. Maybe Madoka is a dream. Just a dream. The only reason she has to believe that she's not is the emotions she locks away within her heart.

She spent so long trying to save Madoka. Is this what she wanted? Homura wants to believe she did. Everything locked inside her heart is yearning for it. But even if it was what Madoka wanted, it was far from what Homura wanted. She just wanted one day. One day with Madoka. A day where she existed, and others knew it. Just a single day. That would be enough.

Madoka was gone because of what she had wished for. It was not what Homura wished for.

She couldn't quite accept her wish, but she knows it's what Madoka wants.

Time is running out for her.

Tick tock.

One glance at her soul gem and you know that she will soon join Madoka. She will join Madoka in the stars. In the endless dream. They will reunite.

There is still pain in the sound of a clock.

Pain in doubt. Pain in her failures. Pain in knowing it was all for nothing.

Is Madoka happy?

There is only one way for her to find out.

Tick tock.

She has bent the laws of the universe. She refused to give up. All for Madoka's happiness. Does any of that mean anything when you do not exist?

Tick tock.

Homura takes the ribbon out of her hair. The conformation of Madoka's existence.

Tick tock.

She wants to return it to her.

Tick tock.

She wants to see her smile.

Tick tock.

Is it possible?

Tick tock.

No.

Yes.

Maybe.

Tick tock.

Time is running out.

Tick

Tock

She hates the clocks. Eternally chastising her for her failures. Infinite timelines, never ending failure. Madoka always died, always became a witch… it was hopeless. Homura could never save her, never defeat Walpurgisnacht, and even after that had all ended, she can't even accept her wish! How can she say she wants Madoka to be happy? How can she say that she cares about her? How can she even think herself worthy to join Madoka if she can't even accept her wish? Her flaws are as countless as the neverending loop. She is not worthy to join Madoka among the stars. Not worthy to join the never ending dream.

Tick, tock

Tick tock.

Her time is up.


End file.
